Wednesday, August 23, 2006


This is an old story about me and Michael. Carmy was involved too. I'd include pictures of them for the internet to ogle, but I'm having trouble with pictures and my blog. If anyone wants to help out, then they should contact me at


Me and Michael head over the local Denny's about once a week nowadays, and we used to, too. However, for nearly three months, there was a period where we did not. Why? you ask? Allow me to explain.

Me and Michael are poor. We don't always got the scratch to be able to buy some fancy shamncy Grand Slam breakfast or some ginormous burger. Sometimes we go in order a cup of coffee and just hang out. Why? Because Denny's is the only place open when we hang out which is usually around whenever one of us gets sober enough to drive.*

So one night, me and Mike are sitting around, sippin' on caffiene, when this group of people gets up and leaves the Denny's and a table full of food! Seriously! It's like they order it out of spite of the poor cooks! Well, Mike and I were not about to let that stuff go to waste, so when the waitress wasn't looking, we snuck over there and took it!

Now, we had rules. No eating things that had been seasoned, no eating things that had bite marks, etc. We ate pretty well, and when we were done, we put the plates back, left, and decided we were probably the greatest people in the world.

And did we stop there? Hell no. We kept taking the food. Was it stealing? No! That stuff had been paid for, no one else wanted it. We were like, the Goodwill of food. Thats not a great analogy. Wait, we are talking Denny's here. Maybe it was okay.

But then, one day, we got caught! We grabbed some pancakes and cheese fries (That was one of the down sides. Your food never matched.), and we got to eatin'! Trisha and Casey and Micahel and I were there. Then the waitress came to fill our glasses.

"Hey, where'd you guys get that food?" She asked.

"That table over there." I said.

"So you stole it?"

"No. Its been paid for."

"I'll be right back."

Then the manager returned. He was pretty lame. Soemthing about health codes and violations and whatever. Stupid Denny's. But even lamer, Trisha and Casey were all like "It's cool, man. We understand." Which totally undermined me and Michael, who were like "Fuck that, man!"

So we stormed out, and refused to pay for our water! **

Then me and Michael concocted a scheme so grand, so diabolical, that Denny's would surely fall, and regret that they ha scorned us, the loud teenagers with no money!

But more later. This got too long too fast. I'm tired.

*Also, we don't drink. At least, we don't drink then drive. Man. There is no way to make this look good.

**In case you live in some crap hole like Australia where water is NOT free, you should no that water here, in America, is totally free, which makes what I said very, very funny.


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