Gym

So I went to the gym today. What an adventure THAT turned out to be.

I'd always thought that the men and women up ont he stage were lying. Gyms can't really be like that, can they?

They are.

First, it wasn't so bad. They lured me in with a game of raquet ball, fun, with my dad. Relaxed.

Then, we went into the locker room. I had hardly worked up a sweat, so I waited patiently while assuming my dad was going to grab his bag and leave.

W R O N G

To my left I suddenly see this naked old guy. Wait, seriously, that old guy can't be... He's naked. Naked old guy.

I got nothing against old guys, or nudity, but combining them is like combining a skunk and a hippopotimus, no one is going to like what they see.

So, I'm staring at a wall, when, out of the corner of my eye, I see a SECOND old guy! Bogey, 3 o'clock! I stand up and move, because hes coming right at me, but we do that awkward thing, where you and a guy are trying to go around each other, but you keep trying to go the same way. While we're doing this dance, his tallywacker is waving around like the pendulum of a clock.

Goddamn it, naked old guy.

After we went outside, I mentioned the excess of naked old guys in the locker.

Dad said, "I tried to make them let us use the naked old women's side, but they wouldn'y have any of that, oh no!"

Dad, you're so funny.

Side note: I went up to my fort today (pictured below) and kicked over a pile of leaves. It was full of fire ants. Luckily, I was not bitten.