Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Children

You know what I hate? Wrong. I love goats.
Really, goats are great.
No, I hate children.
Not all children, mind you. I have the obnoxious, fat, loud, smelly ones. The ones that always have chocolate ice cream all over thier faces. The ones that cry in the super market because they got Cheerios instead of Fruity Pebbles. These children make me very, very angry..
First off, lets get some licenses going for child-bearing. I can't get a dog without one, why not a kid? No license, no kid. Simple as that. How do you get a license?

You must be three things:
1) Wealthy enough to support said child without aid or succor from the government
2) Of sane mind
3) Of healthy body

Why these three things? Well, I'm tired of the idea of welfare. Also, I'm tired of nutso parents, and thirdy, I'm tired of fat, lazy parents either raizing fat, lazy kids, or dying too early and leaving pitiful orphans that need to be eaten.

Moving on. If you do not meet the licensing requirments, you're child will be removed. "What if I'm still pregnant," you ask? Guess. Go ahead an guess.

Now. This will stem the production of more ignorant, ill-fed and clothed children. But how do we rid ourselves of the noisy, ugly ones that are around all ready?
Everything younger than 13 will be round up and tested. They will be put in a movie theater. If one of them makes a noise, the theater is gassed.
Sound harsh?
I promise they won't feel a thing.
In this way I will rid us of children forever. See any holes in my arguement? Go die.

1 Comments:

Blogger Hoff Man said...

Not a bad solution to the problem of children. But let's expand on the license to life. Now, I feel if you're alive you should get one. Everyone in America should have a license to life. Now you're like, "But David, that means people will have children!" So I immediately go to the catch. If you want, you can turn in your license to life, for a license to kill. You won't be able to knock up hoes, but boy could you fuck em and murder em. I feel that would be the better solution to the problem of children.

June 01, 2006  

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